Sunday, October 28, 2007
Y11:20 PM
I think even my bedok view juniors are more matured. Kesian. Hahahaha now that tickles.
Good luck to all lovelies sitting for O/Alevels! Breathe in, baca Bismillah and insya Allah you'll do fine! Especially to fad, this is really the biggest thing, i'm praying for you to do well and enter uni ok, the final lap, remember.. the final lap. Date after alevels (: *hugs* Pray and doa faithfully ok? I love you a lot a lot though i know i was shit busy with promos about two weeks ago. But as promised.. after your alevels(and my stupid project work), we'll catch up, together with chris (: And farah alsagoff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Come i gigit fawah for floorballing too much!
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Y8:17 PM
Is it necessary still to even be your friend if i was "never a good friend"?
And i think you've said too much already. Cutting off ties is never necessary but i don't see why i should laugh and say hello again after never being a good friend. After you said i was "never a good friend". You were the first that i've opened up so much to and the first that i've drawn the line with too. Answer, who was the one who apologised the last huge misunderstanding we had after a month long pause? Who told the other off about more than 6 times, who? Haven't i given in so much after you've told me off, being rude to me after so many times? "You can stay in your little hole and rot", would you stay in your little whole and rot? Is it wise to say fuck you or fuck off to a friend? And despite that i actually thought you were such a good friend. And despite that also you still dared say you were never a good friend as if you know the exact definition of a good friend. In case you do, do you say fuck you to your good friend?
And is it still necessary, i ask again, to remain friends after you've said fuck off to me more than thrice?
And does a good friend secretly wish for the other to flop in their studies? And to think that you always said that you'd always be there. It is okay if you told me nicely that maybe you needed some space and had enough listening to my rants and ramblings. It is okay cos i'd rather that than having you find it all very "fucking irritating".
Was two too much compared to five? And out of the five, two were my close friends and anything that i said to both parties i had to cater to both you and their feelings, haven't you ever thought how tough that was? It really is fine if you're not thankful about my prayers for you but you need not be so rude to me.
Yes you wake the other up when you think he/she is in the wrong path. But was all that constant fuckety fuck needed? I am seventeen, you could just talk to me about how you felt nicely and maturely.
You don't even know Wtf is xxx, have i? Or must i repeat "you can stay in your little hole and rot"? Or did i say to each his own? I think i said the latter most of the times. Was i being the one who just "have to fucking insult stuff that you have rationally think is better than the other"
Thanks, you dedicated a whole entry for me but one day you shall read it again, one day i hope you read your messages you sent to me again. And i really hope one day you could be in my shoes and understand whatever that's behind this. There is so much i wish you'd realise but i know you're just seeing that little scope. And when you do, well when you do i have nothing to say. I'm tired of 'burying the hatchet' again when you did not really 'buried the hatchet' the last time we agreed to do. And i'm tired to always be the one apologising just so that our friendship stays strong. And despite that i'm still never a good friend.
And you know what i'm very tired of? Of always giving excuses why you're being rude to me everytime, giving excuses why you're always telling me off, giving excuses why we always argue about things, giving excuses why despite of every shit you're still a good friend, giving excuses why i should always stoop so low and constantly apologising just so that our friendship will last and very much, giving excuses on how everyday is a bad day for you that's why you're acting like that. Maybe you should try understanding me, cos i have been trying to understand you for the past 4-5 years. Perhaps i have failed many times but i kept on trying, however it's reached a limit when you asked me to "fuck off girl". Ask yourself, are you worth being anyone else's friend for that matter?
Maybe you should 'fucking wake up already and realise how you fucking affect people". Me for that matter.
Y7:04 PM
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww, today was awesome.
But let's begin with yesterday. Finally met the As yesterday for lunch though syaz came quite late. The initial plan was to take care of my little kids but my sister told me that they'll be leaving soon anyway so hurhur sidetracked to pasir ris. Had cavana for lunch and chatted for two hours about the mother of all random things. Talked about how some people have been such assholes, talked about what khursus rumah tangga realllllyyyyyyyy teaches married couples, talked about how orang asli proves to us all that we aren't exactly civilised. Hur. It was tummy-filling, afterwhich i had ben&jerrys which was once again, awesome. We headed for pasir ris beach next and i realised the beach there sucks hahaha i don't know it could be that terrible, i was... very bothered. Everything was getting to me hahaha first we couldn't get a proper seat hahaha but found one anyway, next it was just so macam panas there so i felt so icky. But pictures were taken and we were happy after that hahaha. Ane' came after that, but by then i was exhausted already so most of the times i just listened hahahaha. I hope afee wasn't too worried about hizkil (: and i wish we could spend more time togetherrrrrrr ): buhu.
Today was splendid bcos we had the very belated birthday lunch for kamilah hahaha. Met astrid sweetie at about 12 noon and headed for marina square and as usual the other two kids were late(i'm not that bad afterall). We shopped shopped while waiting hehehehe and my fingers and eyes gatal and got hooked to quite a few things. A very pretty black hoodie from topshop which i'm still thinking about after i bought 12 donuts for my family hahahahah. A floral printed silk belt from topshop also and many many countless zara tops and bags that i can just dying. But thanks to myself for being a student earning no cash, I have to settle with a perfume from topshop hahaha but the fragrance is really sweet uhuhm, astrid got her mommy a birthday present - owl earrings(super cool k).
Met the girls after that and headed for seoul garden. It was quite kecoh at first cos there was some rombongan hahahahahaha and the place was really crowded with them. We nearly got the comfy seat but thanks to the rombongan people we had to shift to like the centre of all mother centres. Hahahaha but whatever it was okay still. Lots and lots of laughter and awesome food there and now i'm feeling really bloated. Hahahah many kental pental pictures. It was very fun with the sweeties, they're like my favourite tpjcians hahaha (: best!! so after lunch we walked around again, actually specifically in search of ben&jerrys.
We were walking, walking and walking when........ my head turned. And i saw.. i saw...
MUTTONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahahahhahahhahahahahaha, i faced front and went shit was that the two insane boys who accompanied me thru the nights before promos??!!?!! Hahahahah!!!!!!! Kamilah walked fast to me when she saw and we were shrieking like hell hahahahahaha i dont know why but we love muttons so much cos they never fail to make us laugh till we tear. Hahhahaa so we were like "shit, let's take picture let's let's let's ah!!!!!!" Hahahahah but it was kind of weird cos they're like no biggie superstars.. just.. radio DJs!!! Hahhahaha wth man we were chasing after them and everytime we were 2 metres away we slowed down and went "nak tak nak tak???" then they were 4 metres away -_- then we chased again, then "nak tak nak tak???" again. Then they wee 4 metres away -_____- hahahaha. We ended up asking them to snap a picture with us weeeheeeeee hahahahahhaaha my favourite djs (: I think that was like the highlight of the day lah please.
Ahhh, hahahaaha now i'm getting excited to look at the pictures so i'm hoping that astrid bacin send me them soon. And abee buzz buzz send me the pictures of yesterday to me via hotmail can? Love you (:
Today i learn that when i am full, i refuse to talk hahahahahahhahahahahaha i am such a pig omg hahahahahaha. And today i learn that i cannot burp even tho i'm shit full. And my loudest burp is like, shit also. The day i burp very loudly with commuters turning and looking at me.. will be the day i achieve something hahahahahahahhahahaha
Yesterday night i had two very retarded dreams about a few tpjcians. Ok now i want to watch tv.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Y7:13 PM
if there's really one thing that my mom has taught me well, it would be respect. and who would have known i would ever in my lifetime come across such a rude, childish person. whom i thought was worth respecting. but all is well, at least now i know that i won't have to deal with back-to-back lies. I always pray that Allah would always show me the right path, put me thru whatever challenges to make me stronger and uncover people's real thoughts. Alhamdulillah for yesterday night. Alhamdulillah.
on a different note altogether hahaha school was good today even though i don't see any reason why i should go to school just so to mark my attendance, it's ridiculous, preposterous, absurd. but hahahaha i did have fun in school bcos i watched hindustan movie with my friends using one of their laptops hahahahahahahhahaha what the hellllllllllllllll we were like practically cursing and crying over a hindi movie hahahahaha. and the thing is one of my friends is chinese and she actually already watched the movie omg! hahahahahahaha it was INSANE. i kept going "shit i think the father die the father die" then my friend will go "no no he didn't die" then i will go "then the mother die the mother die" then she'll go again "no no don't spoil the plot!!!!" then there would be silence. then i would start again hahahaha. it was 3 hours of torture though i managed to like not cry like i would have if i was at home(hur)
so i was rummaging thru the cupboard of dvds in search of my korean dvds hahahahahaha imagine if we watch that tomorrow omg then it would be.......... what a day. hahahahaha.
mum has left for indonesia earlier today and i miss her already. i don't know why but everytime she leaves for whoever's wedding overseas i will not be able to like hug her or bid a proper goodbye. i will always just end up shake and kiss her hands and just say byebye mama have fun. but actually deep inside i do want to have a more significant gesture that won't make me miss her during the days that she's gone. but nevermind, i'm looking forward to her return, i always pray that my mom will always be happy, i love her so much.
anyways i would like to say that i love isa, abee, syaz, afee, sab and kamilah for being there (:
*hugs*
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Y12:12 AM
I JUST HAD TO LAUGH LIKE SOME NYONYA SAYUR WITH MY FRIENDS AND GASP LIKE SHITOZ PLAYING DEAL OR NO DEAL ON MY PHONE. I JUST HAD TO DO ALL THE LAME EMBARRASSING THINGS. OMG.
thanks eh, one hour of embarrassment. plus the additional bonus hours -_____-
Friday, October 19, 2007
Y11:09 PM
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ahahahahhahahahahahhahhahahahahaahahahhahaaa
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Y11:28 PM
Sometimes things just refuse to go my way.
And when they do, i avoid. I don't know why but i avoid. As much as i would want things to happen the way my heart wants them to, i must avoid. The way my heart wants it to. maybe i am afraid of consequences. Maybe i'm still new to all these. Maybe i have not settled down with any of these crap i'm dealing with. And to think my assumptions cheated on me, it's not very fair either. Maybe that's why i cannot collect my thoughts well and maybe that's why i don't know what i'm typing.
Life can be actually very cool and simple. but now it's just tiring.
Insya Allah, things will be better. And Things will.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Y5:08 PM
wow thanks lah i cried in the stupid lecture theatre. so yes we have gotten few of our papers back and some were fine but one was just *middle finger*
well if i had earned that stupid bloody cb half mark, today could have been the best day in my entire 17 years of life. but no, it isn't. well let's refresh and have a vulgar-free blog entry.
today was actually quite awesome because my father sent me to school(in a car) so it saves a lot of time and energy waking up early and even to the very extent of running for the stupid bus, so that was plus points. Came to school and well this isn't a happy note cos i actually forgot my tpjc bestfriend's birthday. HOW COULD IT HAVE SLIPPED MY BLOODY LITTLE MIND. I DONT KNOW. WELL WHAT I KNEW WAS I REALLY FELT LIKE KILLING MYSELF FOR FORGETTING MY VERY OWN TPJC BESTFRIEND'S BIRTHDAY, MAYBE I SHOULD DIE OR MAYBE I FAILED BIOLOGY BECAUSE OF THIS. fine ok, so she said it was really fine and that i actually shrieked so loud in the stupid hall when i saw one of my friends giving her a present. It was that loud that they said "everyone" was looking at us. well, do you think i would give a damn about PEOPLE LOOKING AT US when i EFFING forgot my bestfriend's birthday????? well, obviously NO.
ok now despite the vulgar-free approach, there's still some tensed atmosphere so let me break it by saying that awwwwwwwwwww you said hi againn and smiled and waved :)))))))))))))))))) hahahaha this time, it was guilt-free cos my close friends know hahahha it was very awesome :) that's why it was actually a perfect morning. ok so my friends actually made it quite obvious with their shrieks and screams upon witnessing the very "best" moment of our 2nd hello!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahaha bloody hell i chased kamilah to the auditorium which actually if measured, is as far as 1 round around the field. They just had to make it OBVIOUS KAN. well yes i nearly died due to the fact that it was the second time he smiled and waved(first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) hehehehe, and of cos the constant teases. well yes my morning was very awesome.
so we got our first paper back, it was h1 econs. i expected to screw it up real bad bcos if if my memory serves me well i only passed econs once in my whole jc1 life and that was mid years. before we got our papers, my friends were still teasing me about the whole interesting thing that happened 5 minutes ago, and of cos i hadn't gotten over it who will anyway? hur. anyway we settled down and held our hands altogether, nervously waiting for our papers. it was very nerve-wrecking i swear it could have been worse than olevels(though i wasnt exactly THERE at bedok view but it's worse to be waiting in vain miles and miles away!!!). i prayed so hard and i felt like i was going to die but oh boy we got our papers back and i freaking pass nak mampos. honestly, the only thing i felt like doin was running around the stupid audi shouting EHHHH HE SAID HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND EHHHHHHHHH FOR THE SECOND AND ONLY TIME I PASSED H1 ECONS LAH BODOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahhahahahaa it was honestly very awesome. what was greater was... i got a B for my raw score!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but obviously the stupid failures i've gotten for the past tests and what shit will pull the pretty B grade down, so whatever a C will do (:
Then we were early for math so we waited in the lecture theatre for ages. My heart was pounding so fast it felt like my mom was grounding some nuts. it was INSANE. so my math teacher has calculated that i will need a 48% to pass math overall. oh dear, i got a snapshot 50/100 for the paper and i shrieked like some woman. it was, insane. but they said the percentage/weightage might not be right so i'm hoping i would still pass if it happens that carry out some alterations. so then i thought my life was PERFECT.
but then came the stupid(and once again horrendous) BIOLOGY. i think bio is one of the lamest shit that has ever happened to me. The teachers were kind enuf and said that if we were to get 44.1%, they'll round it off to 45% and we'll PASS.
BUT THEN SHEIKHA HAROON JUST HAD TO GET AN OVERALL 43.8% WOW GREAT TAU GREAT GRAT IT JUST HAD TO BE SUPER SIPI MACAM NAK MAMPOS I REALLY WANTED TO DIE LOOKING AT THE SIPINESS OF IT ALL. I REALLY WANTED TO DIE.
But no i settled down with puddles of tears. I was very disappointed and shattered. There was this half mark careless mistake that could have gotten me a PASS. A FREAKING PASS. Now we all know that a GODDAMN HALF MARK CAN EITHER PROMOTE OR RETAIN YOU. i burst into tears and well i was just very devastated. my friends chun2 passed biology and i'm very happy for them. they passed the others too. so that means they wil get promoted. or at least they are secured with a clear cut promotion.
But I, EYE have to worry and ponder everyday whether i will repeat this whole jc1 hoo-ha all over again. Without my friends. It shatters me, it really does. I'm really hoping Allah will bless me very much and help me get thru this ordeal. I really want to get promoted along with my friends, this is really something that i want, not because of my parents not because of whoever, it is because i want to. My parents were fine with the results(or maybe they felt happier than i was when they got to know that i passed econs and math hurhur) but when i said "BUT KAN ABAH/MAMA.............." then jeng jeng they were expecting it. Well obviously my mood for raya has long disappeared but nevertheless i'm really counting that my loved ones pray that i will pass biology somehow and get promoted. I am asking for a miracle arent i.
I suppose i have been granted many miracles and i am very thankful for that. But this time, this is the mother of all miracles. I knew half mark cud make you pass your test. I knew half mark could make you be top in class. I knew half mark could make you jump a grade. and i knew half mark could make you excel better than your friends. But i didn't know the very half mark would make you RETAIN AND GO THRU ANOTHER EFFING YEAR, ANOTHER DISGUSTING JC1 CYCLE ALL OVER AGAIN. Well of course i am feeling very sick of things.
It would help if he says hi for the third time though. Another mother of all miracles.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Y12:56 AM
It really is the set of the littlest things that this particular species say or do that makes us girls swoon/faints/grins or even, die. And i really want to swoon/faint/grin and die.
Hehe bye!
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Y1:44 AM
Salam eidul fitri! Akhirnya syawal menjelma (:
All the excitement still flooding me till this very moment(a reason why i am not asleep, yet though not the VERY reason nyehehehhee) but i am sad that Ramadhan had to pass very fast. I hardly feel any sense of satisfaction that yes it is time for eidul fitri, hmm maybe thanks to my 2 menstrual cycles(tsk). I missed lots of solat terawih that always if done, never fail to keep myself calm and contented. And i suck also because i skipped quite a handful of fardhu zuhur/asar due to school matters sometimes, i have sinned. Insya Allah, Allah maha Besar dan maha Penyayang to erase my sins. God must hate me. Well but at least it's not like i wear a tube to geylang bazaar! Muahahahahhahaha i will kill myself if i ever happen to do that, i will.
I say what i liked and expected turned out .. well.. quite different and certain things that i discovered were quite a turn off. Hahaha but i think we can relate with each other well especially after i found out that you share the same childhood experience as i do!!!!! Plus points. Hahahaha, very interesting :D
I swear i will die if anyone expected finds out this blog, you may be the king of all surprises but please do not let me die because of this.
My family broke our all time family tradition, damn! We actually failed to visit geylang on malam raya, whatever sehh..... But i just heard over the radio that bazaar is damn kecoh there, but babe gw kepingin banget sama dendeng, i want i need dendeng!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Buhu. Looking forward for tomorrow very very much which reminds me i still have not 1)dug a matching pair of heels from the the shoe closet for my overalls tomorrow die my mom will scream, 2)gotten a bag that matches!!!!!!!!!!!!! What happen to all my shopaholic self. What happened.
Dah, have fun all my Muslim friends, insya Allah, Allah swt memberkati segala yang telah kita lakukan. Have fun savouring the sweet delicacies and appreciate 1st of Syawal while it lasts. Salam, sheikha.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Y9:06 PM
Hahahahhahahahahahahahahhahaa look what i found in friendster *dies*
1) harapkan pagar, pagar takbole harap
2) carik-carik bulu ayam, lama-lama
jadi
suttlecock
3) sepandai mana tupai melompat,
akhirny a tak masuk olimpik juga
4) hendak seribu daya, taknak sudah
5) lembu punya susu, cap teh-ko dapat
nama
6) ke mana tumpahnya kuah kalau tidak
ke
bawah .
7) tiada rotan, pelempang berguna juga
8) di mana ada gula-gula, di situ ada
gula-gula
9) gajah mati meninggalkan gading,
harimau mati meninggalkan belang,
manusia mati meninggal dunia.
10) berapa berat mata memandang berat
lagi seguni beras.
11) cubit paha kanan peha kiri tak rasa
apa-apa pun.
12) diam2 ubi berisi diam2 orang bisu .
13) sambil menyelam tengok kapal selam
14) sebab pulut santan binasa, sebab
mulut habis pulut.
15) kecil-kecil cili padi,kecil lagi
biji cili
Y4:07 PM
Perhaps it's too late to regret or let incessant worries overload me, it's time to.. GET EXCITED FOR TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a familiar feeling i'm experiencing, just like Olevels, just like Olevels... (: Being thurs, just two days away from Syawal, the feeling's just splendid, over the top! I do not intend to let promos get to me so much cos after all it is just "promos". Fate will decide whether there'll be a need to repeat jc1 and if there is, i will ace and top my class(just you wait i so effing will). I'm not particularly hoping for next tuesday to come anytime soon since we're getting back like 4 stupid papers. Outrageous it may seem, well it is. Clock strikes 1030am tomorrow and you might just witness a thunder, a lightning, an earthquake and everything else. My sincere pre-apology for screaming and shouting out too loud in joy and happiness. And very much mixed with excitement and contentment. Dinner date by the sea with a few of the loved ones tomorrow and i'm just itching(though i may be afraid to sit for chemistry paper 1 screw you chemistry) Yes i am the biggest loser since the only time i spend breaking fast with my friends is.. and will be.. just.. tomorrow. & due to that, i've always had this underlying desire that all my different cliques(As, Ncc girls, double Ees, the Olevel study bunch, current Tpjc girlfriends, fad&farah) would just come together and be bestfriends with one another lol though yes that may be one of the most insane thing(yet the best thing) that can ever happen to me, in life. However we all know that is not possible hence, there is a need called "chop" ahahhahaha. Tpjc kids already "chopped" me on thurs night but then due to certain discrepancies.. i've settled with the next bunch who "chopped" which is well yes we all know who. I'm missing double Ees very much and despite us all having school next week, i'm hoping we can have lunch/dinner together (:
I'm looking forward to 1st of Syawal cos therein lies scrumptious heavy breakfast, sweet tarts and cakes, jellies, an impressive array of delicately baked biscuits and lots of coke!!! But that signals for my mom's termination of yummy dinners *stones. She's been the wonderwoman this Ramadhan, cooking all the various sorts of tummy-filling yumminess for buka. Yesterday was an exception but it wasn't dreadful cos we had Sarpinos pizza!! and yummy honey-glazed chicken wings(who would ever dread such good food seriously). Actually wonderwoman did bake something for buka too, my all time fave Macroni& cheese!!!!! And i had that for sahur too, i have a passion for anything pasta-like, they're just The Best. As i was saying, before i digressed to what i had for buka yesterday ahhahaha, it wouldn't be the same after ramadhannnnnnn!!! I love ramadhan for it brings me peace and tranquility.. and lots of yummy food ahahhahaha. Right let's not get distracted with food we are all(Muslims) fasting. On another note, i wish to bake pineapple tarts and cakes on friday (:
I should stop fantasizing everything that i can/wish(for a matter of fact) to do after promos cos hell chemistry is not yet over and done with!!! Dah. Famous amos cookies and brownies, b&jerrys, kfc, sushi, mickeyds by the water would be awesome (:
For now, let's concentrate on Chemistry.
