Y9:39 PM
[jukeboxshkh] Just feel better - Santana feat. StevenHaii.. I have zero interest to be mugging for math test. And what, it's tomorrow? There are tests every week and it's so !#$&(^$# frustrating!!!!! Ah, whatever i know i will screw it up whether or not i studied. And tuition hasn't been of help anyway. Apparently my parents told me before hand that it'll be fine if i were to repeat jc1 for one more year. Babes, i appreciate it very much but !!!!!!!!!!!!! do you know how contradicting it is to have such a negative word to sound soooo positive, like as if nothing is wrong with that!!! Ouh.
I miss my late grandfather. I miss having mom utter the word 'abah'. I miss travelling to granny's everyweek to have dinner with granddad and his fave chicken soup and my fave black pepper rice arabian style. Those were awesome days when i was a bit too young to appreciate things. To appreciate my late grandfather. I wish he's still alive. So that i can know him much better. So that mom will be much happier. So that he can show me the right path. So that i know that someone is always praying for me. So that i know if i run away, he'll always be there. I can't help to realise every now and then how much i miss habib. And everytime i reminisce, i will tear. Very ironic since i did not know him super well.
Life hasn't been great. But it's been interesting. Though i love the people i have around me, i don't know, at the back of my mind i just want everything to stop, for once i just want things to have a pause. Aye tho reality strikes once again telling me that isnt possible. I've been busy like some shit idiot. Tests every week and it's really so pissifying. There isn't time for revision, it's always for the stupid tests. Promos in 6 weeks and i'm still neither here nor there. I feel so dumb. Gah. But it's alright, i'll try my best (:
I've realised i met two really great friends in tpjc. Sabirah and kamilah. It's easy to talk to them. We have tuition together at my place and they'll stay for a bit after that. We talk about things. About love.. hehehe about "things". And ah i dont know, 6 months? it's damn fast. Our tutor thought we were secondary school best friends or smth kekeke. Well, i thank Allah stw for such angels. I don't know what cud have happened if i got into some minah class with zillion minahs pouting in front of me. Lol, babes really. Ah, life rocks actually (: sab, mil, let's do this together. we'll do ok for promos and rock the shit out of everyone for alevels! then we'll enter the same uni. then we'll go backpacking throughout europe. let's!!!!!
And I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
I don't, I don't, I don't
Because it never worked before
But this time, this time
I'm gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better
And I can't find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better
