Y1:24 PM
sometimes i ponder.
i have friends,
many random ones,
quite a few close ones
but is there a particular one or two who will be there for me when others leave? okay maybe a more realistic one, is there one or two who is the most closest to me?
it was that, that made me ponder for quite a number of days. talked to rabiatul a few days back. yeah, those heart to heart moment talks. really, we talked about so many different things. so deep enough that that question popped up.
we were talking about the friends we had.
and mine, one by one left.
prolly i'm not the good friend material or whatsoever but, seriously. it just hurts sometimes when you have friends but you just cant distinguish which WILL be the only one or two who will be by your side.
whom you share most secrets with, whom you are close with, whom you trust, whom you joke around with ; without having a shit about whether or not she/he would be hurt cos you KNOW, that she wouldnt take it very seriously.
it made me think properly.
and yeah, one by one left me. i shall not mention names. so much happened. different people went different ways. me too, yeah. but.. even though i have quite a few bunch of friends whom i treasure so ever much, memories will always be memories. having to think about what we have done, the bad .. the good.. the funny.. the mischievous.. having to think about them, just aches me.
what if one day, everybody leaves? who WILL be the only brave soul who will be by my side??? it made me ponder. some of THEM, have their own new cliches now.
checked on ayieen a few minutes ago about her latest blog entry. chat for quite some time. and yeah, we talked about ebebsNedoks. we arent THAT close anymore. what happened to all of us? just about two months and everyone decides to go on their own separate ways? isnt bandung trip a history itself? isnt bandung trip a memorable one? isnt bandung trip the best childhood trip so far?
it made think again. why am i, the one who is thinking about all that? why arent the others sharing the same thinking as i am? okay prolly ayieen and yash are. but.. seriously, i thought it was the BEST childhood trip ive ever had.
and no, thats not some charlie chocolate factory sentence ive made there. this week has been pretty long for me. the common tests. the lectures. and to think about such stuff really made me think super deep.
sometimes i wonder, what happened to us. we were so close. we shared so much with each other. we laughed so much. just what happened to us. something happened. i couldnt even believe my ears. ive never thought that it would actually happen. heard stuff, but i didnt just jump to conclusions. sometimes, just one friend can make such a huge difference in your life. i may look like one of those who cares shit about the things happening around me. but truth is, i do care.
i do care when we got closer. i do care when you fell. i do care when you were sad. i do care when you had problems. i do care when you mix with others. i do care when you asked me for the possible solutions to problems. i do care when things arent right. i do care when we arent that close anymore. i do care when that, happens. i do care about the fact that, right now, we arent close anymore.
i do care.
okay, prolly everyone has those times when they become all emo when theyre spending their time alone. prolly this is, my time.
whatever lah..
love,
sheikha
