Y9:10 AM
i'm having flashbacks.
bad flashbacks. for now, i mean. the moments we had were precious, but for now.. i dontknow. i hate thinking about the times we spent, really. cos it makes me depress. yes, a very strong word. i cant pretty much summarise my feelings, cos i dontknow. it sucks.
and i keep listening to iyd, again.
when i was browsing through friendster, i dontknow but i just had to click on your friendster profile. i just dontknow why. i tried refraining myself from doing as such cos i knew that i'll be all f emo. but i really, really miss you.
i dontknow. it seems as if, ive known you like forever. but somehow, something happened and the bond we had just, disappeared. just what happened to the lovely person i saw in you? you told me i was the best person whom you can talk to and just express your feelings to. but i guess youre just one of those people who treasure others just for a while. i may not be as ruggard as those friends whom you are hanging out with. thats prolly because i did tell you once, that i'll treat you as my little sister.
without doubt i know that you knew
all of my secrets. not just secrets, but every bit of my feelings. we werent shy with each other, remember the neoprints? remember when you were sick? remember when we spent our time at neesnees'???
i bet you still remember all that, just that.. do you treasure those times?
i told you once, be there for me when i need you. now, i bet no one else can make things right. it takes two to clap. i dont know when will things will be right. maybe soon, maybe later. maybe, never. and if it ever will, i dont think things would actually be the same.
i bet you will never read this. yeap, just like the time when... you told me you wanted a blog and when i and nees made you one, you decided to like just, forget about blogging. it was funny actually. so blogging is never part of your interests.
i admit i am really dumb in these kinda shites. i wish one day i could be a better friend to you. but by then, things wont be the same again. you know.. to build a great friendship, it takes forever. and to come to think of it, if 2 years is already a short period, what if we start all over again?
yeah, it always makes me wonder.
but sometimes i jsut feel like giving up. i know i do not want to be one of those who are just, ok this is hard let's just sacrifice our friendship but at the same time, my mentality is just like that. it is like a position in which youre very sick, but you do not want to die. it makes a great deal of sense when i put it that way.
yep, youre online. and im a 1st class coward.
if only i had the bloody guts to just f youve changed. but no, what rank do i have in your friends list to do that?? yep, and that sucks. to be wanting to do something with obstacles avoiding you from doing so.
i'd rather you hang out with a bunch of losers than with
them. no, i have nothing against them. but i just wish you could just stop and think for a second. you told me you wanted to work hard to get into the express stream. but looking at it, nah.
i might be wrong, tho.
whatever it is, you get my message.
i miss you.
