Y11:03 PM
I was just looking back at the pages of my life and it isn't as zesty as I thought.
Yea perhaps I am, in fact, living a total denial myself. I kept trying hard to control my emotions, my feelings without realising that, I can't.
Everything was good when it lasted. You took away everything real in me. Like how one needs 3 different colour cones to be located in your eye - red, yellow & blue, you played the role of one of the colour cones. Huge role, wasn't it?
Yeah prolly any random someone could have taken away the frown I wore when I was grief-strickened or vexed. But will that someone take that horrible frown away & plant a smile on my face, just like how you did?
It was just very simple for me to be frank with you. It was just very simple for me to converse with you about anything and everything under the sun. You knew most of my secrets. Major ones, and even those which others may find quite redundant. You knew almost.. everything?
Till now I do not know how you did it. Yeah, perhaps it might be ludicrous if I were to say you're psychic but everytime when I said I was 'okay', you cud sense something fishy & well, wrong about me.
Back then when I was in doldrums & crying my eyes out, your words hit me. It seemed like.. you were there? Yeah, it seemed like you were wiping those bitter tears away..
Back then when I was jumping for joy, it was as if you were there too, enjoying the excitement.. enjoying the atmosphere that was completely filled with euphoria.
Back then when I was all disappointed & baffled, you kept remindind me that I shud just try a little harder and to stop grumbling.
Back then when I was exasperated, you will mimic my rants. Those cursing and swearing eventually turned into laughers. Loud, horrible laughters.
& so they've advised me to make our friendship better. But you see, I'm just very exhausted of trying to make things better. It's really sickening when you try so hard and see no product in the end.
Argh, whatever.
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Was surfing the net & I finally viewed the Danish cartoons. This is preposterous. They're still fighting for what they call 'freedom of speech'. Argh, it irks me.
Ciao
Sheikha
