Y8:49 PM
Tell me why I do not give a damn anymore? Hahaha
It was a tough week nonetheless. I woke up yesterday morning to find out that my close cousin passed away. She made me this butterfly pin for my headscarf. Both her kidneys stopped working thus all the toxic materials cudnt leave her body. Her mother told us she kept praying and even though it was uber painful, she just continued praying and hoped for the best. She was so strong. May she rest in peace & insya Allah enters syurga. Amin.
You won't be reading this anytime soon girl but I do care. Again let me reiterate that my decision was not based on what happened. It's long term. & I was just trying to think of the best way to let you know, the best way you won't get hurt and disappointed. Well, I guess I darn sucked at that. I wish you'd understand, really. And I'm trying hard to understand you too. Tho I know you will help me with things, I need to help myself too. You can do this, you know you can. Well, I know you can. I love you really I do and please do not be angry with me. I'm sorry I've failed you. Tho I may not be physically there with you, I still think about you, how you're coping with things. You're strong. You're confident. You're ready. I'm not. That's why I cannot commit myself with it. Do forgive me.
I watched Happy Feet yesterday night with siblings. & I've been stuffing myself with too much Toblerone. It makes me happy you know. Well, it amazes me how I'm so good in cheering myself up despite the various challenges God has put me thru lately. I am so strong. Ah yes, I need to do some shopping at Ikea very soon. I've pretty much discarded most of my notes and textbooks so my room's really clean. I did my own spring cleaning just now. Yessah. Hmm, let me think. I shall get racks and huge frames from Ikea. About time I decorate my room dont you think so? Hea. It's been a relaxing day today cos the only time I went out was to send my brother's no.4 to the ncc shop for the sewing of his new rank and attend the tahlil at my late cousin's place. Will have to attend many of those since her family is very religious. It's been raining lately and I wish it'd stay this way. Really cooling and it eases me.
My sayang afee and nurain are leaving for Korea tomorrow night. I'm gonna miss them ): Honest. You toots better get me an oleh-oleh(hahaha) from there la ok. Well hope you miss me hahaha. I will need to ask my parents whether or not I can see you guys off. Oh yes, hakim aniq nurulain nash and shah too. Well, may all of you have a safe journey to and fro. And do not *coughsaincoughs* *coughsafeecoughs* do anything fishy there ok. Hahaha
Btw Hi I'm listening to avril lavigne and singing along to the tune. Ah I surprise myself sometimes. So much for my happy ending, hahahahaha. I'm laughing too much. Right abee wong? Hahaha
