Y8:17 PM
Is it necessary still to even be your friend if i was "never a good friend"?
And i think you've said too much already. Cutting off ties is never necessary but i don't see why i should laugh and say hello again after never being a good friend. After you said i was "never a good friend". You were the first that i've opened up so much to and the first that i've drawn the line with too. Answer, who was the one who apologised the last huge misunderstanding we had after a month long pause? Who told the other off about more than 6 times, who? Haven't i given in so much after you've told me off, being rude to me after so many times? "You can stay in your little hole and rot", would you stay in your little whole and rot? Is it wise to say fuck you or fuck off to a friend? And despite that i actually thought you were such a good friend. And despite that also you still dared say you were never a good friend as if you know the exact definition of a good friend. In case you do, do you say fuck you to your good friend?
And is it still necessary, i ask again, to remain friends after you've said fuck off to me more than thrice?
And does a good friend secretly wish for the other to flop in their studies? And to think that you always said that you'd always be there. It is okay if you told me nicely that maybe you needed some space and had enough listening to my rants and ramblings. It is okay cos i'd rather that than having you find it all very "fucking irritating".
Was two too much compared to five? And out of the five, two were my close friends and anything that i said to both parties i had to cater to both you and their feelings, haven't you ever thought how tough that was? It really is fine if you're not thankful about my prayers for you but you need not be so rude to me.
Yes you wake the other up when you think he/she is in the wrong path. But was all that constant fuckety fuck needed? I am seventeen, you could just talk to me about how you felt nicely and maturely.
You don't even know Wtf is xxx, have i? Or must i repeat "you can stay in your little hole and rot"? Or did i say to each his own? I think i said the latter most of the times. Was i being the one who just "have to fucking insult stuff that
you have rationally think is better than the other"
Thanks, you dedicated a whole entry for me but one day you shall read it again, one day i hope you read your messages you sent to me again. And i really hope one day you could be in my shoes and understand whatever that's behind this. There is so much i wish you'd realise but i know you're just seeing that little scope. And when you do, well when you do i have nothing to say. I'm tired of 'burying the hatchet' again when you did not really 'buried the hatchet' the last time we agreed to do. And i'm tired to always be the one apologising just so that our friendship stays strong. And despite that i'm still never a good friend.
And you know what i'm very tired of? Of always giving excuses why you're being rude to me everytime, giving excuses why you're always telling me off, giving excuses why we always argue about things, giving excuses why despite of every shit you're still a good friend, giving excuses why i should always stoop so low and constantly apologising just so that our friendship will last and very much, giving excuses on how everyday is a bad day for you that's why you're acting like that. Maybe you should try understanding me, cos i have been trying to understand you for the past 4-5 years. Perhaps i have failed many times but i kept on trying, however it's reached a limit when you asked me to "fuck off girl". Ask yourself, are you worth being anyone else's friend for that matter?
Maybe you should 'fucking wake up already and realise how you fucking affect people". Me for that matter.
